aaaaaaaaaaaa phil + medic catch all

[xenoqueen]

who knows how often ill actually use this

Comments

[xenoqueen]

Even so--!

[Ripley just. Stares at Phil because trying to stare at Medic is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.]

He's got a point, you know. Like--

[Wait.] Hang on, if I have this dumb baboon heart, who's to say other people haven't had their hearts transplanted, too?!

[resortghosts]

[Medic starts writing something out before Ripley interrupts herself. There's a pause. He tosses aside what he'd been writing and and hands them a new note.]

i

have no idea?

[imstuck]

What do you mean you have no idea?! Medic how many of us have monkey hearts now?

[resortghosts]

it means i have no idea! None of us remember what we did at the foundation aside from scattered memories

I don't remember putting a heart in Ripley but she has one! so it's possible that anyone here has one!!!

[imstuck]

[Phil is just clutching at his chest.]

Medic please don't tell me that I could have a monkey heart.

[resortghosts]

it is

entirely possible that you maybe have a baboon heart

if it helps, I can make you invincible with it

[imstuck]

[Gives a deadeyed stare in the general direction of Medic.]

Medic.

The idea that I can't die.

Is the exact opposite of comforting to me.

[resortghosts]

ITS ONLY TEMPORARY INVINCIBILITY

ABOUT 8 SECONDS PER UBERCHARGE!!! Long enough to get the job done and take someone out without getting a single scratch! Not so long that it overworks our hearts and my Medigun

[imstuck]

Medic I'll be honest with you:

I'm not really into killing people. At all.

[resortghosts]

i didnt say that you were!

An Ubercharge is made to protect you from any damage. If I gave Ubervalves to some of you at the Foundation, they were intended to protect- whether that's because someone was in battle frequently or just exposed to lifethreatening situations regularly, I don't know!

[xenoqueen]

[Ripley listens (and watches) as Medic and Phil go back and forth--though it's difficult to see what Medic is writing, exactly. At least she can gather from what Phil is saying the approximate idea of what Medic wrote.

After a while, she starts...laughing? Sort of like a breathless cackle as she doubles over, clutching at the blankets on her bed. It's...not really funny, but she can't help but be amused by the sheer absurdity of the situation at hand.]

Holy shit. Medic--Medic, you've got to check Phil to see if he's got a baboon heart. Oh my fucking God.

[imstuck]

[Clutching at his heart even more now.]

What the fuck Ripley! You can't make fun of the fact that Medic might have given in a monkey heart! We're dating, for god's sake!

[resortghosts]

its

not impossible?

[Medic Is Concerned. Come on Ripley, Phil literally spent the morning singing Medic's praises and being an emotional sap, are you really gonna ruin that :(]

[xenoqueen]

Okay, okay, fine, but--

[She takes a moment to catch her breath, still laughing.]

You realize how--how goddamn weird this whole thing is, right? Someone's probably going to die tomorrow, and we're sitting here, freaking out about fucking baboon hearts!

[She puts a hand over her face, still snickering a little.]

[imstuck]

At this rate I think I'm the one that's going to die! Damn it I thought dealing with the timeloop would be the weirdest thing I'd ever have to deal with!

[resortghosts]

you're not going to die!!! If I gave you a baboon heart, you've had it this whole time, probably for months!

And I've had mine for years- which I had to put in myself, which was NOT easy- and have never had complications from it

all the other Ubervalves I've implanted have had no complications and they've been there for even longer than mine

[At this point Medic just. Puts a hand on Phil's shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.]

You're not going to die. Ok? Not even if you do have a baboon heart

[Why is this getting serious]

[xenoqueen]

[Ripley notices the cloth around Phil's shoulder being pressed down ever so slightly, and she can't help it--she lets out another loud laugh.]

Oh, my God! You don't even know if his heart was replaced, and you're acting like this! If anything, I should be more worried because I know about it!

[She lies down, trying to suppress her laughter.]

You guys are gay idiots!

[imstuck]

Alright, alright! Fine, I cant stand you laughing at me any more.

[Phil reluctantly removes his hand from his shirt.]

Just give it to me straight, Medic. Did you put a monkey heart inside of me?

[resortghosts]

ok hold on

[Medic crossed the room to grab his stethoscope again. He replaces the earpieces and... stops. And just sort of stands awkwardly in front of Phil while twiddling the chestpiece in his hands.

After a moment he pulls out a stickynote and scribbles something down.]

If your heart IS a baboon heart are you going to break up with me

[He's! Nervous!

If Medic's gonna fuck up a relationship irreversibly it should be for something he actually remembers doing, alright]

[imstuck]

I'm not sure if I will break up with you, but I will punch you in the face.

[resortghosts]

i

guess thats fair

[And he places the chestpiece against Phil's heart.

... Yeah, that's not what a normal heart sounds like.

Medic could lie, of course, but he's pretty sure Phil would definitely consider it a dealbreaker if he found out later down the line about the lie. So-]

it sounds perfectly fine and healthy for a mechanically enhanced baboon heart

[xenoqueen]

Oh, my God.

[SORRY PHIL SHES JUST. ROLLING ON HER SIDE HERE AND PUTTING A PILLOW OVER HER FACE]

The two people you fucking trusted to put baboon hearts into were me and Phil. Holy shit, were you two dating before you guys even came here?!

[imstuck]

[Phil is just stunned as he reads this. Even with his lack of filter, no words are coming to mind.

So instead he looks up.

And goes to punch Medic right where his face should be.]

[resortghosts]

[The good news is that Medic was expecting it. The bad news is that instead of dodging it like with Ripley before, he just takes his glasses off and tosses them aside while Phil is reading the note.

Congrats, Phil! You punched your boyfriend in the face.

There's a faint noise of pain from Medic as he takes the hit- it's far from the worst punch he's ever taken(After all, both Heavy and Classic Heavy like to use their fists as "melee weapons". Their fists are about the size of Medic's head.), but the fact that he didn't really try to dodge it or deflect made it a little worse. It didn't break his nose or anything, but he did bite his lip pretty hard on the impact and it's bleeding a bit. (... invisible ghost blood???)

There's a few moments of silence before Medic puts his glasses back on and writes out another message.]

there might be other people with the hearts too. dont know yet

[xenoqueen]

YOU--!

[why are you FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN HER ROOM THIS IS SACRED SPACE WHERE SHE SLEEPS!!! Ripley immediately leaps up onto her feet, ready to take action when she sees Medic scribbling out a note. Oh. He's fine, then.]

I swear to God, if you, like, broke his nose or something and there's ghost blood everywhere, I'm going to kill you. [A beat.] With the chair.

[...] Do you think we should check the others or just let them...find out later?