aaaaaaaaaaaa phil + medic catch all

[xenoqueen]

who knows how often ill actually use this

Comments

[resortghosts]

i didnt say that you were!

An Ubercharge is made to protect you from any damage. If I gave Ubervalves to some of you at the Foundation, they were intended to protect- whether that's because someone was in battle frequently or just exposed to lifethreatening situations regularly, I don't know!

[xenoqueen]

[Ripley listens (and watches) as Medic and Phil go back and forth--though it's difficult to see what Medic is writing, exactly. At least she can gather from what Phil is saying the approximate idea of what Medic wrote.

After a while, she starts...laughing? Sort of like a breathless cackle as she doubles over, clutching at the blankets on her bed. It's...not really funny, but she can't help but be amused by the sheer absurdity of the situation at hand.]

Holy shit. Medic--Medic, you've got to check Phil to see if he's got a baboon heart. Oh my fucking God.

[imstuck]

[Clutching at his heart even more now.]

What the fuck Ripley! You can't make fun of the fact that Medic might have given in a monkey heart! We're dating, for god's sake!

[resortghosts]

its

not impossible?

[Medic Is Concerned. Come on Ripley, Phil literally spent the morning singing Medic's praises and being an emotional sap, are you really gonna ruin that :(]

[xenoqueen]

Okay, okay, fine, but--

[She takes a moment to catch her breath, still laughing.]

You realize how--how goddamn weird this whole thing is, right? Someone's probably going to die tomorrow, and we're sitting here, freaking out about fucking baboon hearts!

[She puts a hand over her face, still snickering a little.]

[imstuck]

At this rate I think I'm the one that's going to die! Damn it I thought dealing with the timeloop would be the weirdest thing I'd ever have to deal with!

[resortghosts]

you're not going to die!!! If I gave you a baboon heart, you've had it this whole time, probably for months!

And I've had mine for years- which I had to put in myself, which was NOT easy- and have never had complications from it

all the other Ubervalves I've implanted have had no complications and they've been there for even longer than mine

[At this point Medic just. Puts a hand on Phil's shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.]

You're not going to die. Ok? Not even if you do have a baboon heart

[Why is this getting serious]

[xenoqueen]

[Ripley notices the cloth around Phil's shoulder being pressed down ever so slightly, and she can't help it--she lets out another loud laugh.]

Oh, my God! You don't even know if his heart was replaced, and you're acting like this! If anything, I should be more worried because I know about it!

[She lies down, trying to suppress her laughter.]

You guys are gay idiots!

[imstuck]

Alright, alright! Fine, I cant stand you laughing at me any more.

[Phil reluctantly removes his hand from his shirt.]

Just give it to me straight, Medic. Did you put a monkey heart inside of me?

[resortghosts]

ok hold on

[Medic crossed the room to grab his stethoscope again. He replaces the earpieces and... stops. And just sort of stands awkwardly in front of Phil while twiddling the chestpiece in his hands.

After a moment he pulls out a stickynote and scribbles something down.]

If your heart IS a baboon heart are you going to break up with me

[He's! Nervous!

If Medic's gonna fuck up a relationship irreversibly it should be for something he actually remembers doing, alright]

[imstuck]

I'm not sure if I will break up with you, but I will punch you in the face.

[resortghosts]

i

guess thats fair

[And he places the chestpiece against Phil's heart.

... Yeah, that's not what a normal heart sounds like.

Medic could lie, of course, but he's pretty sure Phil would definitely consider it a dealbreaker if he found out later down the line about the lie. So-]

it sounds perfectly fine and healthy for a mechanically enhanced baboon heart

[xenoqueen]

Oh, my God.

[SORRY PHIL SHES JUST. ROLLING ON HER SIDE HERE AND PUTTING A PILLOW OVER HER FACE]

The two people you fucking trusted to put baboon hearts into were me and Phil. Holy shit, were you two dating before you guys even came here?!

[imstuck]

[Phil is just stunned as he reads this. Even with his lack of filter, no words are coming to mind.

So instead he looks up.

And goes to punch Medic right where his face should be.]

[resortghosts]

[The good news is that Medic was expecting it. The bad news is that instead of dodging it like with Ripley before, he just takes his glasses off and tosses them aside while Phil is reading the note.

Congrats, Phil! You punched your boyfriend in the face.

There's a faint noise of pain from Medic as he takes the hit- it's far from the worst punch he's ever taken(After all, both Heavy and Classic Heavy like to use their fists as "melee weapons". Their fists are about the size of Medic's head.), but the fact that he didn't really try to dodge it or deflect made it a little worse. It didn't break his nose or anything, but he did bite his lip pretty hard on the impact and it's bleeding a bit. (... invisible ghost blood???)

There's a few moments of silence before Medic puts his glasses back on and writes out another message.]

there might be other people with the hearts too. dont know yet

[xenoqueen]

YOU--!

[why are you FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN HER ROOM THIS IS SACRED SPACE WHERE SHE SLEEPS!!! Ripley immediately leaps up onto her feet, ready to take action when she sees Medic scribbling out a note. Oh. He's fine, then.]

I swear to God, if you, like, broke his nose or something and there's ghost blood everywhere, I'm going to kill you. [A beat.] With the chair.

[...] Do you think we should check the others or just let them...find out later?

[imstuck]

... Yeah that didn’t cheer me up at all. I actually feel a little worse.

God I can’t stay standing up for this

[Phil goes to sit in the floor. This is too much for him.]

Ripley, these kids barely trusted Medic when he was just standing there. They would hate him even more if they found out he put monkey’s hearts inside of them.

[resortghosts]

[Medic, meanwhile, goes to find a tissue to wipe his invisible ghost blood off on. It's fine. He comes back and just kind of flops down on Ripley's bed(sorry Ripley). His messages at this point are shorter and more to the point, since that punch rattled his brain a bit.]

nose isnt broken, lip is just bleeding.

i dont think i'dve put hearts in kids. i stay away from that sort of thing. dont like it.

[xenoqueen]

At least you have some morals.

[Have fun with those extra soft blankets. Ripley lies down, as well. A lesbian, a gay man, and a bi guy, hanging out and talking about baboon hearts. #justmurderresortthings]

...How are you sure that we consented to the surgeries, actually? I mean, I'm sure under normal circumstances, you'd ask, but...these likely weren't normal circumstances.

[resortghosts]

thank you for the vote of confidence :/

[This is true solidarity in action]

Because I would have asked. I would have! Neither of you are mercenaries who've signed contract after contract to agree to this, or people who would deserve punishment

Unless the Foundation forced me to do it???

[A pause. And then:]

I dont like that feeling

[imstuck]

[Phil runs a hand through his hair while hugging his legs.]

I’m convinced at some point we somehow pissed off some god in a past life.

It’s not normal for people to have their entire lives surrounded by torture.

[Hey he used “we”!]

[xenoqueen]

...We? I wasn't aware that I told you about--

[--oh, wait. Ripley sits upright and glances towards the Medic-shaped dent in the sheets. Then she raises an eyebrow towards Phil.]

Holy shit, Phil, I didn't know you actually cared about other people! [She's taking as many opportunities to bully him]

[imstuck]

[He gives Ripley a Look.]

Yes, shockingly while I give you a hard time I do care about you, Rips. God why do you think I still associate myself with you even after you harass me? You're clearly the most competent person here and if you weren't gay I would probably be in love with you right now.

[Well then]

[xenoqueen]

[Ripley looks surprised for a moment before letting out a single, loud and genuine laugh.]

Glad you recognize me as the most competent person in this damn resort.

[She'd be more humble if it weren't Phil.]

Medic here is probably a better candidate than me, though. I'm married, and I have a kid.

[resortghosts]

it's true, you are!

[The Medic-shaped dent shuffles a little closer to Phil. Phil may still be sitting on the floor, but he's close enough for Medic to lean over a bit and kiss him on the head.]

I do have two partners back home, but I can assure you they dont mind this arrangement