Why would she, after the disaster that just happened that night? Or this morning? She can't make up her mind on it. Not that it really matters. She stands outside of the wrecked library, her right arm hanging limp at her side. Her left hand has been curled into a fist.
She's been standing here silently for an hour or so.]
[Yeah, that's... not good at all. Minato missed most of it, really, but he's up to speed enough to know that he needs to make sure that everyone involved in that disaster is okay.
And from observing Ripley like this for a long moment?
She does not at all look okay.
So he approaches quietly, frowning softly.]
Hey... Ripley-san... ["Are you okay?" seems like such a trite question after that mess, so he doesn't ask it yet.]
[Ripley stiffens up a little bit at the sound of her name, turning to face Minato. He can probably see the fact that her right forearm has been bandaged and that there's dried blood on it.
She sighs, running a hand through her hair. She looks exhausted. She tries to smile anyways.]
Just when things start settling down, shit like this always seems to happen, doesn't it?
[The smile quickly fades when Minato says that, and she almost looks...upset? She glances down at the ground, putting her hands on her hips and wincing slightly.]
I don't want to be the person that has to be strong. [She sounds...well. Not great.] I want to stop fighting against everyone all the time. I want to just go home and see my wife and daughter again. I just...
[Ripley falls quiet for a moment, and then...starts...to laugh? Her shoulders shake ever so slightly as she bows her head forward, putting her hand over her face.]
When I was talking to Atsushi about it earlier this week, I asked if he could handle it. He said, sure, and I was like, okay, he's dealt with this his whole life, maybe I can put a bit of faith in him. But then it all goes wrong and--
[She takes a deep breath, trying to control her breathing. She wipes some snot from her face.]
... Minato drags in a slow breath at that, and his tone is soft. He won't point out her shoulders shaking, or the look on her face. He respects her much too much for that.]
Responsibility isn't seeing the future, you know.
[...]
I...believed in him too. Akira said that he would be fine, and I believed it, even though I knew something was going to happen.
[...And here they are, now.]
That isn't anyone's fault. But...even though it wasn't your fault, you still risked yourself to stop him.
[Ripley doesn't respond at first. She stares blankly ahead of her, staring at the toppled shelves and the scattered books. She knows it's not seeing the future. But, hell, they could've prepared for it. They knew the risks ahead of time. There was no need for anyone to die.
Why didn't they prepare for it?]
I...appreciate your words. [Her voice is flat and wavers ever so slightly. She takes a deep breath.] But it's not enough. Doesn't bring anyone back.
[They can stand around and feel sorry about themselves all day, or...act. But acting without thinking is just as harmful as standing around and doing nothing. And so far, she hasn't seen much on the thinking part from everyone else.]
And now we know who the goddamn Jorogumo is, so what's the goddamn point anymore? We know the bastards who killed everyone, the day is saved, everyone can fucking go home when they die.
[... Ha... he worries about that too. That... it's really hard to see the point in all of this, when everything is so bleak. But even so...]
... Maybe there was never a point.
[Not to any of this. But even so, even so--]
But...we're still here. This is what we've experienced, and this is what we've struggled through. Just because there isn't a point...doesn't mean this has all been meaningless.
So maybe... maybe we have to come up with a point for ourselves.
[Her expression hardens, and her hand tightens into a fist.]
Bullshit.
[Her voice is practically a growl.]
If there's any fucking point to any of this, it's to fucking get out and make sure no one ever fucking has to go through this again. Even if it means taking out the bastards in charge of this stupid place.
[Sorry, Minato, she's...going through a lot. She's too old, and too jaded and bitter to think about anything else, unfortunately.]
[He doesn't seem to mind that response, at least; instead, he blinks slowly, and then nods.]
...Well, I don't think that'd be a bad point at all either. If we can at least try to keep other people from suffering... this would all be a bit more worth it, right?
[At least they could make sure of something like this, right?]
[She exhales sharply, rubbing the wound on her arm. She falls quiet, staring straight ahead of her. After a few moments, she glances towards Minato.]
I'm going to go back to my room and...rest. [Her voice is firm as she tries to keep the weariness out of her voice.] It's been a long week. I would suggest you do the same.
[Ripley pauses for a moment, not looking towards Minato.]
You want to help support me?
[She echoes his words with a hint of dubiousness. She runs a hand through her hair, sighing.]
Keep working with the kids. Make sure they don't do anything stupid and try and sacrifice themselves to whatever. I can't pretend that I'm right all the time, but...experience tells me that things are going to go south real fast unless we can find a way out of here soon.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunday morning week 5, after tiger
Why would she, after the disaster that just happened that night? Or this morning? She can't make up her mind on it. Not that it really matters. She stands outside of the wrecked library, her right arm hanging limp at her side. Her left hand has been curled into a fist.
She's been standing here silently for an hour or so.]
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And from observing Ripley like this for a long moment?
She does not at all look okay.
So he approaches quietly, frowning softly.]
Hey... Ripley-san... ["Are you okay?" seems like such a trite question after that mess, so he doesn't ask it yet.]
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She sighs, running a hand through her hair. She looks exhausted. She tries to smile anyways.]
Just when things start settling down, shit like this always seems to happen, doesn't it?
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She still tries to smile, huh...?]
... Yeah. It does. It's... because this place is always trying to wear us down. [This place, this game...]
Over and over again. But you're still...so strong anyway.
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I don't want to be the person that has to be strong. [She sounds...well. Not great.] I want to stop fighting against everyone all the time. I want to just go home and see my wife and daughter again. I just...
[She hesitates for a moment, sighing deeply.]
I need to sleep.
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He...can understand that, he thinks.]
...So many people have been looking to you here...and you've taken so much responsibility onto your shoulders.
[...]
Ripley-san... it's okay to be tired. It's okay... to not be the one who's strong, even if just for a little while.
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When I was talking to Atsushi about it earlier this week, I asked if he could handle it. He said, sure, and I was like, okay, he's dealt with this his whole life, maybe I can put a bit of faith in him. But then it all goes wrong and--
[She takes a deep breath, trying to control her breathing. She wipes some snot from her face.]
How can I even call myself responsible?
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... Minato drags in a slow breath at that, and his tone is soft. He won't point out her shoulders shaking, or the look on her face. He respects her much too much for that.]
Responsibility isn't seeing the future, you know.
[...]
I...believed in him too. Akira said that he would be fine, and I believed it, even though I knew something was going to happen.
[...And here they are, now.]
That isn't anyone's fault. But...even though it wasn't your fault, you still risked yourself to stop him.
[What is that, if not brave and responsible?]
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Why didn't they prepare for it?]
I...appreciate your words. [Her voice is flat and wavers ever so slightly. She takes a deep breath.] But it's not enough. Doesn't bring anyone back.
[They can stand around and feel sorry about themselves all day, or...act. But acting without thinking is just as harmful as standing around and doing nothing. And so far, she hasn't seen much on the thinking part from everyone else.]
And now we know who the goddamn Jorogumo is, so what's the goddamn point anymore? We know the bastards who killed everyone, the day is saved, everyone can fucking go home when they die.
no subject
... Maybe there was never a point.
[Not to any of this. But even so, even so--]
But...we're still here. This is what we've experienced, and this is what we've struggled through. Just because there isn't a point...doesn't mean this has all been meaningless.
So maybe... maybe we have to come up with a point for ourselves.
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Bullshit.
[Her voice is practically a growl.]
If there's any fucking point to any of this, it's to fucking get out and make sure no one ever fucking has to go through this again. Even if it means taking out the bastards in charge of this stupid place.
[Sorry, Minato, she's...going through a lot. She's too old, and too jaded and bitter to think about anything else, unfortunately.]
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...Well, I don't think that'd be a bad point at all either. If we can at least try to keep other people from suffering... this would all be a bit more worth it, right?
[At least they could make sure of something like this, right?]
I think that's a goal we can accomplish.
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I sure hope so. [A pause.] I don't know if it's a goal we can accomplish unless we also kill the monsters in this resort.
[...Ah. So she's still holding onto that mentality. She sounds...slightly resentful when she says it.]
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We're going to find our way out. And when we do that... we'll figure out how to make sure this never happens for anyone else, too.
[Firmly:]
Whatever it takes...we'll find it. I'm not sure yet what it's really going to take... but we can do it.
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[She exhales sharply, rubbing the wound on her arm. She falls quiet, staring straight ahead of her. After a few moments, she glances towards Minato.]
I'm going to go back to my room and...rest. [Her voice is firm as she tries to keep the weariness out of her voice.] It's been a long week. I would suggest you do the same.
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[Minato takes a slow breath in...and then breathes it out.]
Ripley-san... please remember that you don't have to take everything on your own shoulders.
You've supported us all so much--I want to help support you too.
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You want to help support me?
[She echoes his words with a hint of dubiousness. She runs a hand through her hair, sighing.]
Keep working with the kids. Make sure they don't do anything stupid and try and sacrifice themselves to whatever. I can't pretend that I'm right all the time, but...experience tells me that things are going to go south real fast unless we can find a way out of here soon.
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Got it. I'll do everything I can to try to stop them all from being so reckless. You can count on me.
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...Thank you.
[And...off the goes. She walks slowly, as if in a trance. Or maybe she's just tired. It's probably the latter.
God, this place is exhausting.]